Older Men/ Younger Women

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Older Men/ Younger Women

Post  oldersister on Fri Feb 15, 2008 9:21 pm

Has anyone had experience dating a man 20 yrs older than you? Is it possible to have a successful relationship with that age gap?

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Post  Rachael on Tue Feb 19, 2008 4:20 am

When I was 20, I married a man 20 years older than me. We had everything in common, and he was the most fascinating man I had ever met. My father's reaction was: "He's as old as I am!", but I pursued the relationship, nonetheless. Maybe it was my age and/or naiivity, but after just a few short months I began to notice that "Bobby" always knew better than I did what was best in any given situation and after that, I began to resent him more and more. Turns out there were much bigger problems than our age difference, though we had a wonderful son together and struggled ten years to make it work.. through it all, everything I did from what I wore, to how we raised our son, to how to handle a telephone conversation was scrutinized by the ever-wiser older man!

I know of relationships with hefty age differences that last and are happy and healthy. And, honestly, if you are older than he is, your relationship has a much better chance of survival because you probably won't question his decisions just because he's younger. If he is older than you by 17 years, just watch for any warning signs: like a pat on the head (ha ha), or maybe, if you feel he asks alot of questions like: "Are you sure you know what you are doing?", or "Have you ever done that before?", or "You are NOT wearing that, are you?". If he won't let you be yourself, you won't ever be truly happy!

Take it slow, sister! Listen to your close friends and family. I wish I had!
Best wishes,
Older sister, Rachael

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older men & younger women

Post  anonymou on Tue Feb 19, 2008 5:00 am

It's not only possible, it happens all the time. As we get older, age difference matters less and less. If you are 20 and your partner is 37, there may be more issues with this than a 40 yr old with someone 57 because both have a broader experience base.
There has been a lot of research done this area showing we as women are biologically programmed to seek mates that are older because they can provide our children with more stability and financial resources that a younger man might not have. Not to mention, the level of maturity that most younger men don't have quite yet.
Men are biologically programmed to seek younger women once they get older to spread their genes and less likely to go through a midlife crisis compared to a couple that are within the same 5 yr age range.

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